But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
