oh god the rape fog is back!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
