yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
