oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
