Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
