Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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