Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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