As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
