All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
