He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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