talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We had to coat check the pizza.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
