my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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