There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
