I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
