Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
All I want is dick and wine.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
