You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I believe in your delicious
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
