i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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