ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
