I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
do herpes really smell.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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