if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
