he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
