To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Randomize
