Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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