Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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