Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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