the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
