all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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