I cockslap morals
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Its about making memories worth repressing
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
