obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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