All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
