You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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