There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
