So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
he had hair everywhere except his balls
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
