Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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