Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
