There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
