Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
