Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
