I can't breathe out the right side of my face
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
