at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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