Joe is yelling at the trees again.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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