i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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