he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I can text with my tongue
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
