it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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