Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She needs sedatives and a leash
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize