Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
