If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
