Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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