Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
