It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
