But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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