Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
